And the popcorn goes to...

So, obviously I don't watch MTV. It's no longer a "music" channel anymore. I think GAC is really the only "music" channel left that's actually playing music among the "music" channels: MTV, VH1, GAC, blah, blah. Well, I missed an important MTV ceremony that aired on Sunday, May 5. Yes, I'm talking about

and I'm going to hit you with everything! The nominees, the winners, my thoughts (criticism), and I'll even give you lots and lots of pictures! I know you, you like pictures more than my actual writing. So, here we go!

First of all, Jason Sudeikis as the host of this year's ceremony of sorts was a decent pick. I mean, c'mon! What's the best way of promoting your up-coming movie, Horrible Bosses, other than hosting an award show and sticking your neck out there on live television? Probably throwing your C&B's all over live television, but that's a whole different ball game!

Sudeikis' opening for the award show was a parody of The Hangover 2, and he shared the hilarious short with Eva Mendes (who got tattooed with "Team Jacob 4 Ever" when she's a "Team Edward"), Taylor Lautner (who got his middle finger "bitten off" by Mendes) and Hangover's very own, Justin Bartha (who cause the parody to happen). The whole thing was extraordinarily funny, and if you didn't get to watch it, you must! You must! Wait here, I'll go and see if I can find the clip! Host Jason Sudeikis Introduces An Opening Short Film is the best I can get; copies on YouTube suck. I trust MTV's main website. (^_^) I have to applaud Sudeikis for his hosting. The jokes were simple, and his facial expressions were very real - when he wanted to laugh, you could see him trying to hold back to keep reading the prompter.

Time for the category line-up! (In no particular order....)

Best Male Performance nominees

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network; Zac Efron, Charlie St. Cloud; Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Sage: Eclipse

Best Jaw Dropping Moment nominees

James Franco, 127 Hours; Steve-O, Jackass 3D; Natalie Portman, Black Swan; Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page, Inception; Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (not pictured)

Best Fight nominees

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint V Death Eaters, HPDH:P1; Robert Pattinson V Bryce Dallas Howard & Xavier Samuel, TTS:Eclipse; Amy Adams V The Sisters, The Fighter; Joseph Gordon-Levitt V Hallway Attacker, Inception; Chloe Grace Moretz V Mark Strong, Kick-Ass

Best Kiss nominees

Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson, TTS:Eclipse; Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis, Black Swan; Ellen Page/Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Inception; Daniel Radcliffe/Emma Watson, HPDH:P1; Kristen Stewart/Taylor Lautner, TTS:Eclipse

Best Line from a Movie nominees

Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups; Amanda Bynes/Emma Stone, Easy A; Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network; Justin Timberlake/Andrew Garfield, The Social Network; Tom Hardy, Inception

Best Movie nominees

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan; David Yates, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; David Slade, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; David Fincher, The Social Network; Christopher Nolan, Inception

Best Comedic Performance nominees

Russell Brand, Get Him to the Greek; Adam Sandler, Just Go With It; Ashton Kutcher, No Strings Attached; Emma Stone, Easy A; Zach Galifianakis, Due Date

Best Female Performance nominees

Emma Stone, Easy A; Natalie Portman, Black Swan; Kristen Stewart, TTS:Eclipse; Emma Watson, HPDH:P1; Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It

Best Villain nominees

Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3; Christoph Waltz, The Green Hornet; Mickey Rourke, Iron Man 2; Tom Felton, HPDH:P1; Leighton Meester, The Roommate

Biggest Bad-Ass Star

Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four; Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass; Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Inception; Robert Downey Jr, Iron Man 2; Jaden Smith, Karate Kid

Best Scared-As-Shit Performance nominees

Ellen Page, Inception; Ashley Bell, The Last Exorcism; Jessica Szohr, Piranha 3D; Minka Kelly, The Roommate; Ryan Reynolds, Buried

Best Breakout Performance nominees

Andrew Garfield, The Social Network; Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass; Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit; Jay Chou, The Green Hornet, Xavier Samuel, TTS:Eclipse; Olivia Wilde, Tron:Legacy


And the popcorn goes to... (along with my thoughts on the matter!)

Best Male Performance:

Robert Pattinson for his performance as Edward Cullen in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. He's got guts, he's got the looks, he sparkles in sun light, he thrives on blood... duh. He's a vampire, and did I mention he walks around during daylight hours? You already know his role in the Twilight series, so why am I talking about him?

Thoughts: Really?! I was hoping for Radcliffe to win, but I guess he's not dead enough yet. I wasn't expecting Pattinson to say everything he said, but I was looking for something unique, and he didn't fail me in that department. One line that made me giggle and say "Okay, he's not so bad" was his (paraphrasing) "I can't believe I won. I mean, c'mon! Zac Efron cried!" HAHAHAHA You're not so bad, Pattinson. Maybe I should give you a chance. hehehe

Best Jaw Dropping Performance:

Justin Beiber, Justin Beiber: Never Say Never. Follow Beiber on his music tour and learn a little bit more about the Beiber and how he got to where he is.

Thoughts: WTF?!? I swear, all girls under the legal drinking age (21) voted in this rigged movie awards! This goes to show that no righteous movie lover actually pays attention to MTV. My pick for this category was/is James Franco in 127 Hours. C'mon... Franco's character cuts off his arm! Without drugs! Without sterilized equipment! My second place was/is Steve-O in Jackass 3D. That was definitely jaw dropping...!!!

Best Fight:

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse fight scene between Robert Pattinson, Xavier Samuel and Bryce Dallas Howard. This fight scene is very uneven, as in two against one. However, Pattinson's "Edward" manages to rip off her (Howard's) head in the end and kick ass.

Thoughts: WHY?! My vote would have been for Inception's hallway fight scene. I mean, The hallway is moving, the actors are tied off but are flipping around, smacking each other. How much more of a fight scene do you want?! Inception was a more intense (emotionally and physically) scene than the scrimmage fight in the woods. I do have to give it to Pattinson for saying to Howard: I ripped off your head and now... now, you're pregnant! (such a classic line, Pattinson!)

Best Kiss:

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse kiss(es) with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

Thoughts: I swear, the only part of any of the Twilight movies I have seen is of these two making out, and it just feels as if Stewart's just not that into it! She just doesn't do it for me. I mean, these two beat out Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis' lesbian face sucking?!? OMG! If men (and true movie literary lovers) watch MTV and voted, Portman and Kunis would be sharing that popcorn, not Stewart and Pattinson. However, I really have to hand it to Pattinson. He does not fail in the "must do something different" department. Instead of the expected lip lock with Stewart, he states that there is someone else who would appreciate getting some loving and goes running off to lock lips with who?

The co-star who lost the kissing war in Twilight: Taylor Lautner! Pattinson trots to Lautner and lays a big one on him (I'll let you decide whether or not the kiss was true-blue-all-natural-real), pulled back, kissed his forehead, pulled back, kissed his hand, and runs back on-stage to Stewart and says, "I want to take you backstage." Really, Pattinson?!?

Best Line from a Movie:

Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups, for her line: "I want to get chocolate wasted!" This little angel of a face declares her want thanks to the adults in the film (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Kevin James....) recollect their younger days when they used to get "wasted" and the kids ask for the definition of "wasted."

Thoughts: This little girl beat out Emma Stone's "Tom Cruise?" reply in Easy A! She also knocked out boys twice her age, who all had some odd lines. I'm starting to think that MTV producers and decision people suck at picking out awesome lines in movies. I can think of one right now! "Is it Cheney?"
"I would not recognize the soles of his feet."
"Well, you'll have to clamber up and look. I'm too old and too fat."
(Jeff Bridges & Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit)

However, Sanchez is indeed adorable and her line is cute. I still like to think that she had a time carrying the popcorn off stage! (Is that mean?!)

Best Movie:

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Thoughts: I honestly don't think I need to give a description of the movie. I know too many fanatics. I honestly don't want to bombard the movie with too many bad thoughts, as I know too many fanatics. To you "too many fanatics": I just can't get into the idea of vampires sparkling in sun light and roaming about during the daylight hours. They are creatures of the night! (Same goes for werewolves, damn it!) Also, Eclipse beat out Black Swan!?! F'ing kidding me! Portman had me writhing in her hand by the end of the movie! She mind rapes you in every hole you've got, and Eclipse won Best Movie category?! Little girls: stop watching MTV until you actually get your first experience with Mother Nature! Please!

Best Comedic Performance:

Emma Stone in Easy A. The clip they chose to represent her performance was her weekend with "Pocketful of Sunshine" sung by Natasha Bedingfield. From dancing and singing in her room to singing into the shower-head with a shampoo mohawk.

Thoughts: I will agree to this victory! Though Zach Galifianakis was hilarious in Due Date. Hmm, I wonder if there could possibly be a tie in an award ceremony.... Aww, hell! Let Stone enjoy her moment! I enjoyed her in Zombieland, and she's the only reason why I even watched Easy A. I'm going easy on this one, as I deem her fit to actually win the popcorn in this category. Am I being bias? grins.

Best Female Performance:

Kristen Stewart for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. She actually told Natalie Portman that "the popcorn is mine!" and then apologized to Jennifer Aniston and the two Emma's (Stone and Watson), following the apology with comments on how the actresses are all awesome and great at what they do. Of course, she thanked the fans!

Thoughts: I'm sad that Natalie Portman didn't get the award, but at the same time, I figured this would happen since Twilight was in pretty much every category in this award show. I was definitely rooting for Portman, but that's only my natural reaction. I must also say that keeping in mind that this was the MTV Movie Awards, I figured one of the younger stars must win it. (silently hoping for Emma Watson) Oh well. At least, Portman's got the oscar, and Watson's still my favorite in the "fantasy" movie realm.

Best Villain:

Tom Felton in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. His role as Draco Malfoy has taken over the evil side, the dark side and the black side of the spectrum. His portrayal begs you to hate Draco, as well as feel bad and pity for him.

Thoughts: I actually want to see him in a protagonist role for a change. Sure, I've thoroughly enjoyed his dark, bitch side, but just like his counterparts - Radcliffe, Watson and Grint - I want to see how versatile of an actor he is. His "thank you" speech was very simple and very much what I expected from him. Hands up and down, for the younger generation, Felton has my vote, applaud and my bow for best movie villain.

Biggest Bad-Ass Star:

Chloe Grace Moretz for Kick-Ass. Great things come in small packages, and her role as Mind Macready aka Hit Girl in Kick-Ass proved that she had the guts and the strength to go toe to toe with the likes of Nicholas Cage.

Thoughts: When I first saw Kick-Ass, my reaction was: dude! that girl is adorable! holy shit! is she doing her own stunts? I'm actually itching to see more of Moretz and see exactly what she's capable of. She has certainly grown into a pretty little thing, and heavens know she's laid low from the cameras and rumorsville of Hollywood. For a young actress to do that, you've got my attention.

Best Scared-As-Shit Performance:

Ellen Page in Inception. The scene that won the popcorn for Page: Her introduction to dream bending. You know, the one with her and DiCaprio sitting at a cafe and then they go off walking down the street, and Page goes off changing too much, too fast, and the crowd comes, splitting up DiCaprio and Page, and this lady comes up to Page and stabs her in the gut, while she's screaming, "Wake me up! Wake me up! Wake me up!"

Thoughts: I'm actually a bit surprised that she won over Ryan Reynolds' Buried. I was freaking out when I watched Buried. Maybe it's my claustrophobia that won me over to Reynolds' "Oh Shit" performance. Yes, I did kind of jumped and squealed when the crowd started gathering and grabbing Page in Inception, but to me, Buried was and is the best scared-as-shit movie... the entire movie!

Best Breakout Star:

Chloe Grace Moretz for Kick-Ass. Honestly, do I have to say anything?

Thoughts: I was hoping for Hailee Steinfeld and True Grit, as taking up the role of Mattie Ross is a huge step. If she had not stepped up to the plate, the character would have been a failure. However, she took the role and ran with it, and her performance was wonderful! Mind you, I do give props to Moretz for her portrayal of Hit Girl, but for "break out," I'm still pro-Steinfeld.

The ceremony had handfuls upon handfuls of laughter and smiles, but I have my favorites. (naturally) Specifically, two things had me smiling for a while: Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis and the presenting of the MTV Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon.

"We've never dated.... We're more like brother and sister."

Justin: "And that's why I can do this." (grabs Mila's boobs)

Mila: "And that's why I can do this." (grabs Justin's crotch)

Justin (in high pitch voice): "And the nominees are..."

Oh, Justin and Mila, I love you guys! Take about hilarious! I must confess, I always thought Timberlake was just another face that attracts females with his voice and looks, but damn. The boy can actually act! Not to mention, Kunis! Lordy! She has gone through a bit of change herself, and I adore her sense of timing! (In acting and in interviews) I'm trying hard not to laugh right now....

The MTV Generation Award is actually an awesome award. This year, the presenters were supposed to just be Patrick Dempsey and Chelsea Handler, but I honestly believe Robert Pattinson was the perfect middle man for this presentation. "There's a teleprompter right there." Pattinson: "But all mine says is 'ad lieb'...." The laughs just kept rolling and rolling, and I was literally in tears by the time it was Handler's turn to actually give the award.

2011 MTV Generation Award was presented to Reese Witherspoon. You know, the blonde-haired, toothy smile, perky girl of Legally Blonde; the "oh too sweet and innocent" girl in Cruel Intentions; the wonderful, hot, and single Reese Witherspoon. My favorite line of her "thank you" speech is when she corrected Pattinson's failed attempt of telling a joke: "I've played your mother, I've played your lover, and that makes you the best motherfucker in all of Hollywood." (Yes, Pattinson messed the punch line, but it's okay... he "can't read his own handwriting" LMAO)

Congratulations, Reese! From Election and Cruel Intentions to Water for Elephants, you've come a long way, and I have enjoyed every movie along the way!

I look forward to seeing whatever you're coming out with next!

Needless to say, this year's MTV Movie Awards was pretty much a clean sweep for The Twilight Saga cast and crew. Okay, I think I've said enough and have covered enough of the awards show. So...

To all the winners and even to all the nominees, congratulations and thank you for entertaining the masses, including me.

Until next movie/topic --